I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Your penis caused this!
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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