mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
