STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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