Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
