i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
