YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
