Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
