dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
