I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize