It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize