Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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