I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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