I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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