ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
You made out with two different species that night
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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