Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
