Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
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