Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
