Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
