Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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