Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
