I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Randomize
