I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize