i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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