Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
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