She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
He? As in you personified your dick?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
