brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
he just fucked me for my cheese.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
