im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
