escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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