i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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