when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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