Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize