And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
