I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
