I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
