well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
