so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
