I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
