That's intense
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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