Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
