Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
