found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
