Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
