If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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