Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
