My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize