what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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