there's paper in my vomit.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize