Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
