I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I'm too high and old for this...
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
