Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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