I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
