I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
