; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Naked Twister starts at high noon
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
