have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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