What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
