he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
