im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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