He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
