Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
