i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
