I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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