i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
