And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
