Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
