Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize