remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
She needs sedatives and a leash
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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