Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i will never coherently bang her
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
i think im in europe. pls send help
We smell like vodka and hangover
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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