I think im going to throw up on grandma
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
I'm really busy with my period
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