are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
