3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize