i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
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