don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
